We’ve all seen the articles. “30 Hacks to Simplify Your Kitchen,” or “15 Kitchen Hacks Everyone Should Know,” or whatever the Hell. Reading those lists is kinda like shopping at an upscale appliance store, in that you see new things, think to yourself “Oh wow! I could use that!” then mostly forget about them. This is because most of them are useless, overly-complex trash. Why would any sane individual make a waffle iron grilled cheese when they have a damn pan?
The reason, dear reader, is because these kitchen hacking articles make even the most basic culinary maneuvers sound like truly Herculean efforts. If they didn’t, why would anyone listen to their tips? When they make separating eggs sound like running a marathon, they’re manipulating the reader into trying that dumb water bottle trick instead of just using their hands.
Now I’m sure that these little tips help some people. Honestly, there’s a good chance that reading these things on Buzzfeed or Pinterest or what have you has motivated more than a few people to start cooking their own meals. But, these articles are holding you back! These little tricks keep people from learning the correct way to do things in the kitchen. This, in turn, limits a person’s culinary know-how to basic recipes and maneuvers.
And that is why I’m writing this. I hope to use this blog to debunk some of the more maligned kitchen conundrums, and attempt to prove once and for all that no one need stoop to using “kitchen hacks.” Because cooking for yourself is easy! And more healthy! And cheaper than eating out! And, honestly, you might as well do it correctly.